Well this week has been kind of busy. It seems that way anyway. Tuesday morning I had to drive and pick up hubster from work. Apparently he had a problem and the company decided he needed some cool off time so he didn't work all week. Wednesday, I went to IGOLD. 3 hours on a bus to get there, and hour and a half of listening to a presentation where it seemed like everybody was trying to sell me something, the march to the capital building where of course, all the politicians hid from us(big surprise since they don't really give a shit what 'the people' want anyway), an hour and a half wait for the 3 hour bus ride home. While I was gone, speaking up for Illinois gun owners rights, no one at the farm even bothered to do anything that actually needed done. Cutting up and burning dead trees, while it needs done, is not more important than washing to puppy pee off the floor or making sure the baby goat isn't wiping out my entire garden. So, the house was full of nasty and the goat ate half my seedlings. Not a time for the 'happy happy joy joy". Thursday was my birthday(yay rah, big whoop) and my daughter came by to make my day since she knew nobody else in my life here would bother. I spent the rest of the day scrubbing floors and on a fruitless hunt for a leather fanny pack (long story and purses suck).
So, now I need to basically start over with the seedlings. I lost a months worth of work while I was gone. My entire tomato crop got eaten by a baby goat. This upsets me greatly since even with the zipploc bag method, I am having serious difficulty getting seeds to germinate this year. Very disconcerting. It's very difficult to be self sufficient, grow all the food here and do everything else nobody else here seems to give a rip about, all by myself. Sometimes I wonder why I even bother anymore. Trying to find a farm helper is also proving to be about impossible. Why is it that people think they can have a 9-5 job or have their own farm and still take care of everything I need help with here? If that were possible, don't ya'll think I'd be working some minimum wage, nowhere 9-5 job myself? ARG, I'm really beginning to wonder why I'm still doing this. Sometimes I think about how nice it would be to just not give a rip anymore, buy cable TV and eat cheetos on the couch every day after some meaningless 9-5 job, lost in some idiotic show, become an alcoholic and just be oblivious to what's going on in the world. Quit growing my own food and just buy frozen pizza full of chemicals and preservatives and be done with it. Seems to work for the rest of the world.
Oh, the horses found a weak spot in the fence I can't afford to repair and were standing in the middle of the road about a 1/4 mile out. Of course, when they saw me coming, they ran for home and then made me chase them around the barn lot for a 1/2 hour before they let themselves be caught. There was help here but the help decided they needed a nap more than they needed to help me corral livestock.
So, today, I am not in a happy place and all I see is more work ahead of me that will get done only if I do it, all by myself. I need a vacation. Yah, like that will happen...
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I have days like this too. Feeling like I am the only person in the whole world that gives a crap about getting things done at our home. I wish I had super awesome words of wisdom to make it all better, but in reality, life can suck sometimes. On a jealous note, I miss my horse so much. Just standing next to him and smelling his warmth would make the world go away for 10 min. Sleep well tonight...tomorrow is another day after all...and maybe a BETTER ONE!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry MM that you are having a bad week. From what I have read while lurking on this blog, you do this stuff because you get the satisfication of knowing you did it on your own and better than anything that could be mass produced. Sometimes we all need to step back and give ourselves a pat on the back. You are a amazing woman! One that inspires me!
ReplyDeleteOn a side note, up here in North Illi I'm having a hard time getting my peppers and tomatoes to sprout as well. But the good news is the CRANES ARE FLYING north!! Spring is coming. Itching to get things in the ground here.
Spring is coming! We saw some Canada geese doing whatever it is that they do when the tide is out (we live on a tidal river). We saw them on the way to town the other day. Do you know what I thought when you said you had some dead trees? Wish we were closer. I'd come take them off your hands for hugelculture beds for veggies. Sorry we aren't close enough to take them off your hands, MM. It sounds like you are doing things singlehandedly down there. Too bad you didn't have a room to rent out to a young couple to give you a hand in exchange for room and farm experience or something like that. I sure admire your perserverence and stick-to-it-ness. Just a question...why isn't baby goat in the barn with the rest of the critters?
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday!!! Don't worry it will get better. You inspire a lot of people and the way prices of everything is skyrocketing it is making self reliance a must.
ReplyDeleteMM,
ReplyDeleteI have the same thoughts and the same lack of help. Of course, I live alone. But, people sure will help me eat stuff and forget what I did to get it or prepare it. Well, belated Happy Birthday!
after you have cleaned up the dog pee and scolded the goat...get your seed started again- it is still early enough for the season. then get out there and even if ya gotta use wire clothesline get your holey fence fixed. if there are worthless human beings there who are supposed to be helping you or depending upon you to do the job yourself i think i would be putting them on notice. it is indeed hard to find anyone who is willing to help out on a homestead or farm. i have given up on getting garden tilled-we have rolled out the old tires again this year. folks who offer the help dont show up and folks who want pay for their assistance tend to stand around doing nothing to rack up the time sheet. sometimes we are just damned if we do and damned if we dont. i wish i could promise you that it will get better, but it might not. on the other hand, dont quit, persevere, take a few deep breaths, focus on your priorities and at the end of another day it might just seem better.
ReplyDeleteSorry it has been such a bad week for you. I won't say it might not be as bad as it seems, or even that it will be alright, but I will say that I really do understand the disappointment and frustration (and yes, even the anger). I will also say that experience has taught me that if you can hang on long enough, it will get DIFFERENT. Whatever you do, please don't give up.
ReplyDeleteSorry but I think someone at your farm needs your foot up their butt, just because you have things to do and are not home it doesn't mean they can lay down and sleep or whatever they do. In my way of thinking they would be getting their own dinner for a few nights and see how that goes down. Bet they are the first ones to the table and the first ones looking for clean laundry. I do speak from experience as we lived on a farm in upstate NY for almost 20 years while our kids were growing up and you can make book on they did not by choice and would not by my rath ever do that to us. I know I must sound heartless but no one person can do it all on a farm so if you want to eat then you have to work and do whatever needs doing and believe me on a farm sometimes it seems overwhelming but with your spunk I'm sure you will make it work, hang in there.
ReplyDeleteAnd by the way your not getting older just better.
Sorry you're having a bad day. :( Google wintersowing. It basically uses recycled plastic containers to make mini green houses that you can successfully start seeds outside in. I've had more luck starting seeds with this method than any other method. I usually start my seeds over Christmas while I'm home from work. Good luck!
ReplyDeletelol, i actually have made a hothouse out of my porch swing, a clear contractors bag and clothespins...it works....amazing how creativity puts new spin on things.
DeleteSorry you had such a sucky day. I have learned to prioritize, and when there seems like so much pressing things to do all at once something has to give. That around here is laundry and dinner. The other two are quite capable of fixing dinner and doing their own laundry once in a while if they dont want to help with urgent chores. They are never happy about doing it but guess what? I'm not happy at that moment either. lol
ReplyDeleteHang in there, don't give up!
I second the winter sowing idea. I'm trying it this year. It's so much easier to do without feeling rushed.
ReplyDeleteOh, I am so sorry about your plants, and that entire bad day! That is horrible! And, tomato plants are toxic to most animals, so I hope your goat was okay. I do hope things get better. That makeshift hothouse sounds great. Hopefully it will get your new plants off to a wonderful start! Do you still have plenty of seeds to start over, or do you need some?
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