Friday, November 1, 2019

Figured it out (pic heavy)

 my grandson loving on the cattle dog who is watching her herd
 whats left of the hay cutter pod after  found that concrete block my son left out back
 trip to garden if the gods with my daughters fiance
 bottle baby showing off her stuff
 my evening break view at the off farm job
 one of the hay feeders I built
Grammy wore the poor little devil out

This about sums up my summer more or less.

Tuesday, October 29, 2019

Crazy Summer

Well, not much happened around here pertaining to being self sustained this summer.  Garden went to hell real quick with my goofy work hours.  Goats were the only highlight of the season.  They did great.  Found a chunk of concrete out in the back hay field left by my son and his scrapping phase that blew my hay cutter all to hell.  Still managed to get enough hay put up tho.  Been spending all my money on fencing this summer, stretching 100' at a time as the paycheck and bills allow.  Still have a long way to go tho, it's depressing that I can't get it done faster.

Made a couple hay feeders in an attempt to simplify feeding time and keep the hay waste down.  Seems to be working okay.  Have enough lumber left over to make one more, might do that this week.  When I figure out how to get the pictures from the phone to the laptop, I'll post some.

Sunday, April 21, 2019

long road back and happy Easter

I feel like I've disappeared.  I did, actually.  for 2 years, my entire world revolved around my son and cancer.  The farm basically evaporated.  Everything beyond the responsibility of feeding critters that couldn't feed themselves, doctor appointments, hospitals and death.  Yes, I'm still grieving, yes, I'm still sad and I cry all the time.  I'm learning to accept the new reality of life without my son/friend/farming partner.  My son was a big part of everything I did around here.  Now, I'm learning to do it all by myself and basically starting over.

It's Easter.  I doesn't feel much like a happy time for me.  Eh, I'll get over it.  Miss Jordan would not let me have my grandson this weekend.  So, being left to my own devices, I went out and spent 20k.  Yep, bought a new tractor.  Did I need it?  No, not really.  Will it make life easier for me?  Yep, it will.  4WD, end loader, 540 pto and a 50" mower deck.  Pasture maintenance, barn cleaning and hay baling just got easier!  Now all I need is for the rain to quit so I can get to working on the fence and getting the garden going.  I'm seeing locally sourced food as a hot commodity this year with all the flooding going on out west plus right here in my region.  The garden needs to be tip top if I'm going to eat well.  I'm trying to be ready for it.  I'm regretting selling the milk cow now.  eh, it was necessary to do at the time and the best thing for the animal.

New grape vines this year.  Haven't planted them yet,  it's been cold and rainy since I bought them.  I'm keeping them in the clean room I built for my son since it's warmer in there than the rest of the house with no heat in it.  I'm also considering a few new fruit trees since all I have left are a couple of pitiful peach trees that I missed spraying on time so I'm not looking for a bumper crop of decent peaches there.  

The goat herd.  It's headed out of a nasty winter full of shivers and crappy hay.  Never in my haying life have I ever had such a shitty crop off my own fields.  Part of it was the weird year last year and the other part was the person who was supposed to be helping me while my son was dying.  Needless to say, that person helped themselves rather well with my equipment and pushed my interests to last and basically baled me dead, junk hay.  Not too pleased.  So, I did what I had to do at work to get myself onto the shift I am now sure will allow me to do it all for myself.  I've been on the shift since November and have figured out how to maintain enough energy to sleep just 5 hours a day and function normally without being tired all the time.  It was tough since I'm not young anymore.

New laptop here so pictures with the posts very soon.  Need to dust the old camera off and find the transfer cord.  "Brick by brick my citizens, brick by brick."

Friday, April 5, 2019

It's raining, again

Whaaaa, like the rest of the country isn't a muddy mess too.  I know, need some cheese with the whine.  I have so much to do to get the farm back into good shape and every time I get a day or 2 off work, it's been raining.  Hard to wait for the spring nasty to pass when I'm finally feeling a little less depressed and I want to get things done! 

Eh, the crappy garden.  It's so nasty and overgrown with junk, it's hard to see it producing all the good food I need to be eating.  The last 2 years of grabbing crap food just to have something in my belly while driving to this doctor or that hospital, wow, I'm surprised I'm half way healthy. 

I'm looking at new laptops since once again, I've had an epic hard drive failure and lost a laptop.  I wonder if it's because I never turn them off?  LOL  maybe.......

No photo description available.Anyhoooo, baby goats are jumping and playing, learning all about wild onions!  It just tickles me to watch them chomping on those onions and then running around, farting onion stink, ROFL!  That is just too funny!  Of course, that leads to the upset bellys and I've resorted to feeding them all pepto bismal to remedy the problem.  They'll learn, no harm done.........

Tuesday, March 26, 2019

2 years. I don't know what to say.

It's been 2 years since my last post.  Wow!  Plenty has happened, no doubt.  I lost my son.  The cancer spread all over him and wiped out his kidneys and liver.  He passed August 10th, 2018.  Immeasurable sorrow, depression, anger, and so on and so forth.  A weight that will never leave me.

On a brighter note, his son, my grandson, is a bright star in an otherwise dark sky.

The farm, yah.  Pretty much non existent.  Of course, the land is still there and the goat herd is bouncing back from last years barren failures.  Beautiful billy goat shooting blanks left me with no kids at a time I could have really used the revenue.  New neighbors up the road with a pair of huskys killed a few nannys for me and of course, they skipped out before paying that bill.  I should have pushed for the dogs to be put down.  Lesson learned there.  New job, a good one.  They took really good care of me while my son was in his last bit of life.  My hay cutting partner is in for a surprise come hay season.  Partnership over, thank you very much.  Porked my eyeballs out this past fall.  I've never had such crappy hay from my own fields before, ever.  So, I've worked my way to a shift at the new job that will allow me to bale my own hay, whenever I need to.  All I'll lose is a little sleep here and there.   I can live with that!

Still haven't managed to chase the POS ex down to force him to fulfill his end of our divorce agreement.  I'll probably end up having to sue him for it.

Lots of new coming to whats left of the farm this spring.  I am really back so keep checking for updates and pictures of whats coming up!  Oh, that wonderful weed killer recipe bouncing around facebook, weed be gone, better than round up?  Yah, bullshit.  If it doesn't kill henbit, it's worthless.  All it did was make the yard smell like vinegar!  Don't waste your time on it....