Lack of...Something

Like most the country, it's been down right cold here. The picture is kind of pathetic but I was trying to show how little snow we got here. Not even enough to cover the field stubble. It flurried constantly for 3 days with no accumulations but the first night. The overcast and bitter cold days are pretty depressing. Gee, just what I need, right? Today, it's sunny and the reflection off the pitiful amount of snow we have is blinding. It's a glorious 7 degrees. Even with me going out and checking for eggs every 2 hours, I'm still finding frozen ones. the chickens have almost quit laying completely and i don't blame them. Way too cold! I've also kept them caught up in the barn where they can burrow in the hay if they choose to so they aren't getting their normal dose of sunlight. It's light in there during the day(skylights) but just not the same as being out in the sunlight. I can't have them with frozen feet. Just 2 more days of below freezing temps and then we're right back up to the 40s. That's a relief for me, it's awful cold over in the storage house right now. Had to let the power company shut the electric off so no heater anymore. The monthly customer charge was more than the power we used every month but we just don't have the money. Thankfully there's no water lines to freeze or I'd be in sorry shape.

It's hard to think about spring and starting seeds when it's so cold out but the time to get going is really just a few weeks away. I have resisted the urge to spread all my seed bags out on the kitchen table. If I get them out, I'll want to start some and I know it will be an exercise in futility with it being so cold and drafty in here. I'm struggling with the self control. Getting the seeds started is like a fresh start for me. Planting is always so full of hope and expectation, dreams of the harvest to come.

I found a good source of quality milk to start making cheese again. Of course, it's going to cost me so I'll have to wait for the hubby to become employed. It's looking like sometime this coming week. I've heard that so many times, I'm not making plans just yet. I'll have to pay the mortgage first thing since we're so close to defaulting before I go buy any milk to make cheese. I'm also trying to figure out what's left to go to the resale shop for fuel money. I'm about out of things to sell. To top it all off, I've developed a bad tooth over the past few days. I would imagine it's due to stress. the tooth has pushed up almost half way out, it's very loose and is preventing me from eating even with topical pain reliever. It'r right in front on the bottom and it's out far enough, it's pushing on the roof of my mouth. In a couple of days if it keeps going like it has, i should be able to pull it myself. Boy is that going to hurt. I don't have much choice tho, sooner or later, I'm going to have to eat. It's hard cooking and baking every day and not being able to eat the results. Well, at least the family has plenty to eat!

I think about this whole very bad year as a growing experience. I think about our acestors who lived like this all the time, struggling to pay their debts to the bank, desperately trying to keep enough food on the table to feed their families, all the hard work to keep their livestock alive thru the winter. I know by the grace of God, we'll make it thru this. So, if you have a spare moment, say a little prayer for us please.